Look and Listen

Biography

Following a series of psychic experiences in his early twenties, Blood Ritual Monarch became obsessed with the dark side of the occult & paranormal. Very soon thereafter, he found himself constructing an elaborate evocation mirror per the ancient conjuring book The Lesser Key of Solomon or Goetia. These demon conjuring experiments resulted in poltergeist intrusions and what was most likely demoniac possession. Then at the tail-end of almost a decade of traumatic blackout experiences, BRM began finding messages written to himself during these amnesic episodes. Among the words he consistently found in the notes was 'Montauk' which led him to study the (alleged) infamous mind control program known as The Montauk Project. He discovered that his behaviors and mind patterns could be the result of mind control programming and satanic ritual abuse. Soon thereafter, he embarked on a journey of self discovery which culminated in a long overdue visit to the haunted Montauk / Camp Hero Air Force base in September of 2011. A chance meeting on a conspiracy / mind control website connected BRM with a woman over 9,000 miles away. Five months later he found himself on a plane to meet this woman and start a new life. However, he was still haunted by blackouts and self-destructive behavior. Health problems ultimately necessitated a stop to his excessive drinking and left BRM no outlet to assuage the overwhelming psychic chaos within him. He began blogging as a therapeutic attempt to understand his life and examine the circumstances around his bizarre thoughts and behavior. The blog manifested into a full-fledged biography; Tales of Demon Conjuring, Mind Control, and Madness.

Inspiration

This book is the culmination of almost 20 years of bizarre experiences and self-destructive behavior seemingly brought on by a dalliance with the occult. If there's one thing I cannot stress enough is that it is not my intention to prove anything. Accept or reject as you see fit; take it as truth or fiction. Belief is not required or expected to enjoy the story. It is my goal to entertain the reader with this tale. If you get more out of it, feel a deeper connection, then all the better. On the morning of December 22nd, 2012 I woke from a particularly intense blackout and felt unusual pain. I realized that I could no longer abuse my body or I would be dead very shortly. At the behest of my wonderful fiancée I decided to start a blog in the hope that it would replace my intense desire to allow my body to be taken over by unseen forces (whether these forces be from within or without) and escape this reality. If writing about my experiences could vent the psychic pressure I was feeling, there was a chance I could lead a healthy, creative life. Sure enough, the blog kept me focused while my health improved and the blackouts completely disappeared. Initially, the idea of writing a full-length book didn't cross my mind because of the time required to complete the task and lack of immediate feedback. People can spend years writing manuscripts; revising, editing, etc. before they even get to the stage of pitching that manuscript to a publishing company. I didn't want to write in a vacuum; I wanted to connect with readers and get feedback about my story in the hope that meeting others with similar experiences would assist in the healing process. Blogging was the perfect medium in regards to what I wanted to accomplish. As a result, I've met some wonderful people who have helped me understand my own issues as we shared our stories. From there, my computer whiz fiancee built a website and moved the blog which allowed us to add a wider variety of content such as videos, etc. As I continued to document my experiences and interact with readers, it dawned on me that there was enough material for a book. However, I didn't write the blog in much of a linear fashion and just churned out entries relying on a stream of consciousness approach. A book would require a more organized and sensible method of delivery otherwise the zigzagging through timelines would surely confuse readers. The details of this account would be strange enough without the sequence of events not making sense. Therefore, I began the long odyssey of reordering the blog entries and tying them all together. I also delved deeper into experiences that were only touched upon briefly in the blog as well as added lots of new material. Revisiting old stories as well as rummaging through my psyche for much longer-forgotten ones greatly enhanced the healing process. However, as the book came together I realized how authors can get sucked into a seemingly infinite vortex of re-editing, second guessing, and material enhancement that could take years. I also understood how some books never see the light of day due to the reasons previously mentioned or just plain old lack of follow-through. Working full time and being surrounded by kids doesn't exactly assist with focus so I got up around 4am almost every day to ensure that my mind was fresh and ready for the task. I knew that if I didn't have the book completed within six months it may never happen, so I attacked the process with obsessive zeal and put blinders on. Now that this book is finished and in my hand I'm hoping that I can move on from an almost two-decade obsession with demons and mind control. Or perhaps that the additional memories I seek (which I suspect are deeply hidden / masked in my psyche) can surface to tell yet another story so that full healing can take place. Either way, the main goals of sharing this tale are to connect, heal, and move on. Just how all of that happens I cannot divine or control but I must trust the process. Another thing that occurred while writing the book was the realization that ideas about horror and the macabre came naturally to me. Whether they are based on actual subconscious memories or possibly channeled from spirits I cannot be sure. It may be both or something completely different. However, it dawned on me that this is what I should be doing going forward. Being immersed in dark-themed literary material is invigorating and actually makes me happy. Before I started writing I was a miserable, cranky bastard; now I can see a future and that's quite a feat for me. My life has been full of contradictions so the paradox of wanting to heal and move on yet make a career of writing horror fiction makes perfect sense. I do not profess to be an expert on demons or mind control but then again how can one be an authority on things that many argue do not exist in the first place? I am simply documenting my experience as I remember it and do not make any claims in regard to the overall subject matter. Anyone who speaks in absolutes about demons, mind control, and / or conspiracy theories should be regarded as suspect. I am not telling you 'how it is'; I'm sharing what I've gone through and hope people enjoy and get something out of it. Memories often aren't as orderly or logical as we'd like them to be. I've done my best to make this book as cohesive as possible. However, if you get lost or can't make sense of something please contact me through the website and I'll be glad to clarify. Tying together the seemingly incongruent subjects of mind control and the occult were just as challenging while the process was unfolding as well as documenting it after the fact. I hope you like it. -BRM; December 21st 2013, New Zealand