Look and Listen

Biography

I was born in a trailer park in Columbia, MD on May 1st 1976. My mother and father had just come home from a party around midnight and laid down for bed. My mother felt some cramps and was uncomfortable. My father told her that her stomach was probably upset and he was going to bed. My mother then explained to my father that an upset stomach does not normally lead to a soaked bed. Off to the hospital they went and my mother was in labor for fourteen hours. They had to pull me out with forceps. My father compared them to giant ice tongs. I had a scar under my right eye in all my baby pictures. As my skin elasticized and grew, my scar is now under my right eyebrow. We moved to Naugatuck, CT. It was absolutely beautiful there. The snow always stuck to the trees like glue and the winter was stunning all year round. Not the muddy slush I experience when we moved to Sayville, NY four months into my 6th grade year. Another job change, another new place, and at a very difficult age for me to adjust. College is where I consider myself actually growing as a human being. I attended the State University of NY in Plattsburgh. It was 30 miles south of the Canadian border in eastern NY. It was mostly a party school and I breezed through classes with minimum effort. I majored in psychology and english, both worthless without master's. I really consider myself majoring in beer and women. That I would love to get a master's and phd. Unfortunately I received a D+ in women, but I got a 4.0 in beer.

Inspiration