Look and Listen

Biography

Growing up in rural Pennsylvania during the 1940's, life seemed good. Loving parents who were fun, and a large extended family of aunts, uncles and cousins. My summer vacations included a week at my grandparents farm, and ten days at a religious camp. Our life centered around the church and its strict rules. I had always questioned what I call the "NO LAWS" of our church, since most of the teachings were about things we could NOT do, like go to movies, or dance, or wear jewelry. The first movie I saw was "Old Yeller" when I was eighteen. My mother was not happy with me. My teenage years were not happy ones, mostly because I felt I didn't fit in with other kids partly due to my religious upbringing. Another reason I thought of myself as a misfit was because we were poor. I was humiliated by our humble circumstances. After graduating from high school, I attended business school in our small town and made my way as far west as Indiana, eight hundred miles from home, where I worked in an office at our church world headquarters. After eleven years I realized there was more to life than the small world I knew. Making my way further west to California, I embraced the liberal attitudes and finally found the freedom I had sought. I fell in love with a wonderful man who had a four-year-old son. Not prepared for motherhood, I floundered and failed miserably. I found myself reverting back to the familiarity of strictness and rigidity in order to cope with our unbalanced existence. I was a strong-willed woman with a stronger-willed step-son, and I became determined to win at all cost. It almost cost me everything! My career became important. I worked for twenty-five years in a large law firm in Los Angeles. Long hours at the office and a long commute took a toll on family life. I am now retired and enjoying life. It is time to tell my story - "Confessions and Prayers of a Not-So-Wicked Stepmother."

Inspiration

During my struggles as a step-mother, I felt I had no one to confide in. I had to talk to someone, so I chose God! I wrote a series of prayers pouring out my heartaches, worries, failures and woes. However, THIS IS NOT A RELIGIOUS BOOK! At the time I succomed to craziness, I searched for books to help me cope, never finding anything to which I could relate. Now with those ugly years behind me, I look back and think perhaps my story can be of help to another step-parent. I don't pretend to have answers. And I won't tell you it's easy -- it's damned hard!! Probably the hardest thing I have ever done. It is my belief that each of us has something to offer others. If by sharing my story of struggles one other parent can realize there is hope if one perseveres, I have reached my goal and have succeeded in my endeavors to help someone else. I give you my insanity and my craziness, and one spectacular Mother's Day!