Look and Listen

Biography

If you have ever wondered what it would be like to crash a fairground ride, upset the Russian mob, humiliate yourself in front of two and a half million people, fall asleep on a push-bike, pole dance, be Santa Claus, be run out of town by more gangsters intent on snapping your legs like Twiglets, receive a VIP tour of The Whitehouse, forge an identity, be fired from the same job twice in as many days, make a movie with a Hollywood A-list actress, have a crazed psycho break into your flat at 3am intent on causing you serious physical aggravation with a screwdriver, fleece a pensioner out of their hard-saved cash, be pursued by the paparazzi, simultaneously implode three companies, make weaponised plutonium or be normal... then you're no longer alone. Welcome to Danland.

Inspiration

I can be inspired by many things. Not so long ago I was inspired by a jug of Pimms. A few days after that and I was inspired by a sandwich. The sandwich was for sale in a café in Bath, a cafe in which I sat cowering from the rain pounding the pavement outside with all the ferocity of a bag of angry crickets. My almost-tweed jacket doesn’t like the rain. It fluffs like a Jackson Five haircut and makes me feel as though I look like a pimp, even though I probably don’t. Anyway. I noticed the sandwich not simply by the fact that it was a sandwich - which it was - but by its name. It was called ‘The Bogart’ and I took a closer look. ‘That’s got to be one cool sandwich,’ I thought, somewhat inappropriately. But it wasn’t a cool sandwich at all. It was a vegan sandwich with beans and organic grass and it got me thinking about the movies. I thought about Dear Old Humph and how mortified he’d be with his name being attached to a sandwich produced primarily for a bunch of pale-faced eco-loons. And then I thought that I was taking this ‘being inspired by a sandwich’ thing a bit too far and decided to battle the wind and the rain instead. I stood up, shuffled to the door and braced myself. I buried my hands into my pockets and my chin into my neck and I thought: One, two, three... It’s as easy as A, B, C… And so, like I said, I can be inspired by many things. Sorry about that.